Also 

My mother wanted me to get Sausage Biscuts from Mcdonandls when coming home from working out I agreed

However, my windows were still frozen so they wouldn’t roll down..

I took it as a sign and left that fucking place.

Thank you mother nature. I swore to myself I wouldn’t go back.

And I have a legitimate excuse - plus she won’t wake up till probably when I wake up this evening. 

Okay…No sleep and working out… 

Bad Idea. Lol but I made it..

I felt dizzy and I know better with my Insomnia. smh

But I’m 187. I’m sure that’ll change this week. I’ll be up and down. Always is.

I can see some noticible changes..My skin is starting to stop breaking out finally..GODDDDDDD. The past last week has been ugly.  And I can see more definition on my neck. And..I feel my collar bone is starting to become a ugly duckling ( meaning it’ll be sometime before it shows its true self)

Ugh..ima eat some toast n drink mah tea..and pass out. :) 

Alrighty its fucking cold outside..and I live in fucking texas what the hell…BURR

So this morning with be at least 40 minutes of weights and then an hour of some type a cardio

then see what the scale says =__= i’ll decide it i want to tell you or not when I come back. 

and i downloaded some spiffy music..and decided im moving back to my old town till i have to leave at the end of June for school…its all for the money…money…new electronics…yes..RAWALKW;JDFRJ;OAIERJFLKA;DJFLKAJFD

Also. No sleep. Yup none. 

Toast n Carrots 

Odd combination..but taste quite nicely this morning e__e;

(Source: )

When you realize that the only thing that you have in common with your siblings is just a few common letters in your names. 

My older sister and me are not seeing eye to eye..

It’s fine we are 11yrs apart. She used me to her advantage on a few things, talked badly of me. I can’t understand how people can do that. It’s fine though..she is supposedly engaged to a guy..she didnt tell us. So be it. 

Just add her to the list of ‘Who gives a fuck land’ ..sad really.  

Sigh.. 

fixing to get ready to go to the gym..

no sleep..depressed confused..


I wont give up..I wont. 

Song pretty much breaks down my whole mindset..

(Source: facebookc.mo, via shesbombb)

I’m whining I get it.. 

I fell for a boy..a boy who lives on the other side of the u.s …And he shows no more feelings towards me.

I can’t tell him because I’m scared…scared of looking a fool…like some stupid fool..who is emotional.

I havnt cried like this in so long and visiting family..too. Damnit.

I can’t help it. I’m trying not to be loud..but it hurts.. It all hurts. I feel like..it was all for nothing..damn it. I’m sorry. I keep telling myself sorry..but it happened..

And all I go to the back of my mind thinking don’t fully ruin yourself..you have a lot to do…heh..your such a idiot..

Hate everything lately. I hate my body. I hate my mind. I hate you for the way you can just forget about me so easily.

All I want to do is cry. Cry till I fall asleep. I’m with people, so I havnt thought of you so much and I enjoy my time but ..it doesn’t take away the hate.

This self hate..this over indulgence..anything. Someone..anyone..I beg of you..make these thoughts leave me. .. Support me..find me.

Make it all just subside..

Real shit

(via mi-nalaz)

Giving you up for awhile fixing to just doing my own shit. I’m that girl you probably think will always run to you.

What if i was like you? 

What if I was a sex addict what if I looked at provocative men? what if I ignored you..slept in a bed with some other guy…hmn? how about have a party and who knows what cuz I’m fucking wasted.

Not. Going. To. Contact. Him.

He wants my attention, He can start everything.  

=__= 

lol and when I hit the dash button my videos first screencap is a derp face…

lol made me laugh oh wellz.